Timeless Contents of a Leader’s Toolkit

June 10, 2014 by

leadership-management-toolkitLeadership is the ability to make things happen. Given the increasing complexity of the world in which we live in, and the enormous demands placed on leaders, I believe these seven tools will help you maximize your leaderability.

 Vision

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” – Proverbs 29: 18

Vision as a picture of the future a leader has in mind which inspires him and he shares it with others for them to feature in bringing it to pass. Being a leader requires you to have a clear vision of the future and being able to communicate it passionately and clearly to others.

Leadership success begins with vision. Walt Disney envisioned a place people can come and have fun, Todd Nielsen thought of a place where people can come together to learn and share their leadership views, and Martin Luther King, jr., dreamed of a world where everyone is equal.

You must endeavor to create a compelling vision, clarify it and market it properly for people to buy-in. The success of your leadership is tied to the actualization of your vision.

Passion

Passion is essential for effective leadership. I have observed great leaders in corporate, religious, academic, political and social organizations, one thing they have in common is that they are very passionate with what they believe in.

Ralph Waldo Emerson rightly said, “Passion is one of the most powerful engines of success. Nothing great was ever achieved without passion.” Leadership is a marathon and passion is the energy you need to finish fine.

Your passion is your passport to progress; make it right.

Confidence

Firm belief in yourself is a key to being a successful leader anytime. It helps you go the way and show the way. Douglas McArthur painted a good picture of it when he said, “A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions and the compassion to listen to the needs of others.”

Confidence is a fundamental basis of leadership. It helps you to stand your ground during challenging times. Self-confidence is not magic; it can be developed.

Communication

To share your vision, inspire others, and sell your products and services, you need good communication skills. To excel in leadership, you must master the art of effective communication. Great leaders are great communicators.

Don’t just communicate; connect!

Communication styles differ from leader to leader. Your body language and words should be topnotch. As a leader, your communication must be clear, concise, concrete, correct, coherent, complete and courteous because your ability to communicate and connect effectively raises the bar on your leadership.

Compassion

Compassion is one of the silent but principal qualities of a leader. One grave mistakes people make in life is asking for hands while they have not touched a heart. A leader should be compassionate.

Compassion is the people-centric mindset of a leader that inspires him to aspire and perspire to help others become better. This is not weakness but, strength.

A compassionate leader loves his people and this motivates them to give their best to make his leadership a success. To be a great leader you must shift from “I” to “We” mentality because this helps you show kindness, care, fairness, genuineness and gain trust, respect, loyalty and followership.

Focus

In a world that is constantly accelerating, many people find it difficult to stay focused, we spend energy worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. Leaders are humans and at times they encounter overwhelming situations which can make them go off-course but, focus helps them comeback on track and win in the race. Focus helps you stay true to your leadership goals and discriminate yourself from things that will militate against your success.

FOCUS = Follow On Course Until Successful

Honesty

The quality or fact of being honest gives life to your leadership. Honesty is a veritable tool in building trust between leaders and
followers.  Honesty is one of the great characteristics of effective leaders. This is one quality that is lacking in Nigeria politics and
leadership.

Without honesty one cannot lead with integrity. One place some leaders miss opportunity to display honesty is in handling mistakes. Being honest doesn’t mean you are weak but, it shows you are morally strong. Honesty is a virtue and a mark of
higher-life. It’s a key to becoming a leader of repute.

Leadership is not title but, result. The tools in this toolkit are the arsenal you need to move yourself from a common to an uncommon leader.

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

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How To RSVP And Embrace Your Role As A LEADER!

June 9, 2014 by

Leadership-invitation-rsvpWhether you want to admit it or not, you have the desire to lead.  I believe we all do.  The challenge is that some can’t even define leadership and even some of those that can, struggle to find the right tools in their toolbox to be the leaders they were created to be.

John Maxwell says that “leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.”  He is right, but my question is, “What kind of influence do you have?”  I have discovered that to embrace your role as a leader requires not only an understanding of what it means to be a leader, but how to take what you know and do something positive with it.  This takes a process.  Let’s explore how this “RSVP” process works.

CAST A CLEAR VISION

There are several questions that need to be asked when creating and casting a vision.  Unfortunately, many of them are often overlooked in the process.  Many times vision is identified by asking, “What do we want to achieve?” but there is much more to it.  Consider asking ALL of the following questions and see if you can add some clarity to your vision:

  • What do you want?
  • Why do you want it?
  • Where would you want to have it?
  • When do you want it?
  • How would your life be different if you had it? and my favorite …
  • Who would you become if you had it?

Have you overlooked any of these in creating your vision?  As a leader, you are responsible to cast a vision.  Simon Sinek said, “People don’t buy into what you do, they buy into why you do it.”  If you want others to follow you, they need to know both where they are going and why they are going there.

DEFINE YOUR TRUE PURPOSE

Sustained growth and achievement requires you to be clear on your purpose.  Your purpose, individually or corporately, is going to be fueled by your passion about what you are doing.  This passion comes from within and will provide the inspiration to succeed.  I have found that your purpose can be found at the convergence of three things:

  • What you are best at – your strengths.
  • What matters most to you – the things you love to do, and
  • What you want to do, who you want to do it with, and where you want to do it – your vision.

Identify these three things and your purpose will be found where all three are represented in the activity.

DEVELOP THE RIGHT STRATEGY

This is the area that I see the most mistakes made in executing a successful plan.  Quite often a strategy is developed that the individual or organization is not resourced to achieve.  There is a simple way to determine whether or not you have selected a strategy that will achieve your desired results.

Identify where you are currently investing your time and resources.  Picture it as if you were putting your life into these five buckets:

  • Family
  • Work
  • Community
  • Personal
  • Faith

Now look back at your strategy and see if you have the resources, possibly time or money, to execute the strategy you have identified.  Something else to consider on the road to success; is your strategy serving your purpose and vision?

ACHIEVE THE DESIRED RESULTS

I fully adhere to the idea that we need to start with the end in mind, however, without casting a clear vision, identifying your true purpose and creating the right strategy, you will struggle to attain your desired results.  Completing these first three steps will set you up for success.

Once you accomplish these, achieving your desired results will come down to identifying and executing a solid plan.  I suggest you use the SMART goal process.  In creating your plan, make it:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Attainable
  • Realistic
  • Time Constrained

Doing these things will provide a pathway to influence those around you in a positive way.  To embrace your role as a leader will take work and remember the goal is not the goal, the goal is who you become in achieving that goal.

These principles are discussed in much greater detail in my book, Leadership By Invitation, which happens to be launching this week, but if there is one takeaway for you to gain from this post, let it be that you have within you the ability to be a leader and make a difference in the lives of those around you.  Your challenge is to embrace that role and show up!

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

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Leadership, Virtue, and Martial Arts – Anything in Common?

June 6, 2014 by

Leadership-Martial-Arts-VirtueThe globalization process has an impact on all of us and almost everything we do. It impacts the environment and consequently the way organizations are structured, and how teams are led, and managed. People work together and embody a variety of personalities, as well as a range of ways of doing things. A modern leader is supposed to grasp all of it to lead forward and to predict behaviors, but never to give or take offence due to misunderstanding the cultural issues.

Can such old wisdom that is hidden in martial arts philosophy point to the culturally independent way in leadership? Why, precisely, martial arts? Because martial arts does not differentiate! Being taught all over the globe philosophy remains the same regardless of personal belief, skin color, gender, and ability.

Effortless Leadership

In Nature, everything seems to be done effortlessly, or with the smallest effort, the same that is genuinely used in martial arts. Nature, in spite of dealing with extremely huge things and events, conserves “energy” e.g. big tree growth with little “effort,” the seas do not get tired of waving, birds fly with ease, an ant can hold 100 times its weight and appears to carry it effortlessly. The same principle is used in martial arts: in a fight there is simply not enough time to recuperate unwisely spent energy. You tire, you lose.

Overexertion is damaging also in the leadership process: to spend more energy that is needed is often harmful not only because it represents a physical and intellectual hindrance. When things are done effortlessly the impression is that everything runs smoothly and harmoniously, there is no stopping, no fuss, no dissatisfaction. Most importantly, all and everything is achieved without resorting to giving orders or spending time on extensive persuasion. A well led team should not be a battlefield of egos. In teamwork there is no place for individual victories or defeats.

Leadership from Within

“Trust your friends to beat you so that your enemies cannot,” is a saying in martial arts. Trust is the foundation of any martial arts practice. Like a martial artist, a virtuous leader trusts himself first, then trust his people. Consequently, he is trusted by them.

In martial arts, to effectively carry out an activity a very important issue is to be able to integrate all the power and capabilities of your entire organism. For this, coordination of your body and your spirit/mind is needed. A fist fight is like a bull fight. The toreador is not stopping the bull (the opponent) with his body. That is not even possible. The toreador lets the bull pass and then, at the right moment, he slays the bull with his sword. In business, people have their own ideas, concepts, knowledge, etc., and they all like to excel. A well-meaning leader will take advantage of that, and use it to its highest possibilities.

Leadership Foundation: Virtue

While teams involve collaboration, they are nevertheless led only by one person. And that person has to possess a virtue that comes from within. It cannot be taught and learned by way of “formulae” as suggested in many leadership books and MBA schools.

The principles of martial arts can empower one with extreme capabilities that can be used to different ends in different situations. One can cure, immobilize, even kill – with just the right pressure or by hitting certain places on an opponent’s body. It is a person’s virtue (responsibility) as to how one would use this knowledge. Assuming responsibility is, by all means, one of the most demanding requirements in leadership. It translates into a commitment to complete something. Some people like to hide from responsibility for their deeds, actions and decisions. Virtuous leaders never attempt to absolve themselves from their responsibilities, nor do they impose their value system on others. A leadership by virtue embraces people’s interests, knowledge and their abilities.

So yes, Leadership, Virtue, and Martial arts have plenty in common! I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section.

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Are You a Truly Successful Leader? Here’s How to Tell!

June 5, 2014 by

Leadership-In-The-Home“You have two weeks to live.” The doctor closes the door and leaves you to your thoughts. As you sit there, trying to process what you’ve just heard, what are you thinking about? Seriously. What matters now? With whom will you long to spend your last moments? Doing what?  What will you wish you had done differently? What will you be so grateful you did?

One of the top regrets expressed by terminally ill patients was that they wished they hadn’t worked so hard. “They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.” They “deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

As essential as they are, success and leadership in both community and business still pale in comparison to the consummate importance of leadership in the home. Unfortunately, many smart and talented people passionately pursue leadership at work and passively accept leadership at home. Hence, the thriving careers and businesses… and the failing families.

No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” ~David O. McKay

Even From There—My Story

My dad was gone before I was born. Step dad after step dad; each failed to rise to the role of a true leader in the home. I ended up out on my own at an early age; hurting, struggling… desperate. I vividly remember one cold, lonely Christmas Eve, sitting by myself in a very dreary, despicable place. On a night when we should be celebrating with family, I sat alone watching my breath in the frigid air. The loneliness was almost more than I could bear. That night became one of the turning points in my life.

I DECIDED I would have a family that would always be close together. A family that would be created on the highest principles and values and would be filled with love and happiness. A family that would be built with an unbreakable bond. I was determined to create a fantastic family, to be a leader in my home;  and I was ready to do whatever it required.

I went after it like a cheetah chases a gazelle. I read and studied voraciously, I still do. I observed and interviewed both the successful and the unsuccessful. I wanted to KNOW what it takes to be a world class husband, father and leader.

I’ve found the answers, and I’ve continued studying marriage, parenting, personal development and leadership for 18 years; and teaching it around the globe.

Today, my amazing wife and I have an incredibly blissful marriage. No lie, our marriage rocks! We have six wonderful children, with whom we love to travel the world and really enjoy life. As I write this article, I am looking out over the lush mountains below our temporary home in Costa Rica.

Happy Families

If I can climb from where I started to who I am, then you can too. Today, right now, can be a turning point in your life; the day you decide with all your heart and soul, to be a leader in your own home.

None of us need look very far to realize that leadership in the home is MIA—missing in action. Parents are so stressed out; their lives are filled with anxiety and turmoil. So many are failing to rise to their full potential as leaders in their home.

Families are falling apart. The divorce rate is pathetically high. Many of those who stay together are unhappy, and merely co-exist.  The chasm between parents and children is widening. The bonds are breaking.

The family is the fundamental unit of society and eternity, and is the basis for true happiness and fulfillment in life. The quality of your family life directly affects everything else you do!

It’s time for you to lead! What is leadership in the home?

  • It’s putting your family first, and proving it with your time and attention.
  • It’s working on yourself harder than you work on anything else. Pursue personal greatness as a spouse, parent and a leader.
  • It’s putting in the time and effort for real preparation and performance at home.

How long and hard did you study for mastery at the university level or in the work place? Does your effort and commitment for mastery in the home match or exceed that? Have you studied successful marriage and parenting even half as hard as you studied for a thesis or dissertation?

Family is the most important part of this life. Is that truth evident in your thoughts and habits? Is your quest for excellence in the home even half as passionate as the quest for material success?

No matter your past. No matter your circumstances. You can become a phenomenal leader in your home.

Children are a gift from God. One day He will ask for an accounting of this most precious stewardship. I challenge you to live in such a way, that on that day, you will be able to look up with confidence and say, “I was a leader in my home.”

Reach upward!

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

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The Loneliness of Independent Command

June 4, 2014 by

leadership-lonely-leaderI sat in my office with my head in my hands. I was crying. I think that I had been crying for a few days but I cannot honestly remember. I hadn’t been into my office for two weeks but I had to come in because my signature was needed for the day’s events to go ahead.

Tomorrow was the Station Families Day and the Squadron that I commanded was scheduled to perform a flypast, today we had to practice the display* and ensure that the Station Commander was happy for the flypast to go ahead as planned. I had therefore made my way in to work.

As a pilot, I had been trained not to take my problems into the air and I had always been very good at it. I think that most Pilots’ inadvertently practice mindfulness as it generally requires you to be very present, in the moment and making small corrections to keep on track. Today I was struggling.

I had recently discovered that my wife, the mother of our two beautiful boys, was leaving. I had suspected that something was amiss for a long time but didn’t know what to do about it. I never suspected her of having found somebody else, as I could not bring myself to believe that she was looking. I was very, very wrong.

I had informed my Command Chain, both on the base and at the Central Headquarters and had spent the last two weeks wondering how I allowed this to happen. I hadn’t found any answers.

My misplaced sense of duty had led to me driving in to work and preparing for the formation flight. It was all fairly routine and I was ready to deliver the briefing when my Deputy came into my office and unloaded his anger at my absence for the last two weeks. I almost held my nerve but could hear my voice cracking in my responses to him. I think that he knew what was going on at home but wasn’t sure, I hadn’t said anything to him.

He left my office, I cried. Then I went to the locker room, had a shower, regained my composure and then briefed the formation. The practice went well and I was able to concentrate my attention, it was actually a relief to be back in the air again.

The next day, we flew the formation again but this time it didn’t go quite as well. One of the aircraft was damaged on landing and, ultimately, I was at fault.

So What?

I have written this account to demonstrate a point. I was not at war; I was the Commanding Officer of a small training unit. The pressure that I was under does not compare to the pressure faced by commanders/leaders in the combat arena but it was my first “Independent Command”, I was responsible for my actions and made my own decisions. I also had nobody to talk to.

When you become “The Boss” relationships change. It is almost inevitable. However, I ask you to think about your relationships and your circle of friends. It is difficult to be friends with the people that you write reports on and there will always be a little tension. You are human and probably enjoy being part of a team, a tribe, but Command takes you out of your previous circle. The other thing about being human is that you occasionally need somebody to talk to.

Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness

What are your options? It is important to remember that you are never really alone, there will be others in similar situations and you should make it a priority to seek them out and develop a connection with them. I made the situation worse by isolating myself and not seeking advice.

As you progress through life, opportunities for Leadership present themselves and the importance of understanding the specific needs of your Team Members is an integral part of almost all leadership training. However, it is easy to forget about your own emotional needs when blinded, even temporarily, by an event, situation or your own perceived status.

On any list of “Leadership Attributes”, the words Honesty and Integrity are ever present. This starts with you. Be honest with yourself first and do not be afraid to ask for advice. It is not a sign of weakness! You are in a Leadership position because you are trusted, you have already proven this to your superiors and they will probably be able to assist you. Don’t be afraid to Ask!

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share them in the comments section.

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5 Areas of Leadership We Cannot Delegate

June 3, 2014 by

leadership-delegation-habits-valuesOn a recent flight I was half-listening to the takeoff instructions reminding me about tray tables, flotation devices and oxygen masks. “If you are traveling with someone who needs assistance, please put your oxygen mask on before assisting others.” I’d heard it a hundred times, but today, it spoke to my weary soul. I had gone through a ministry season during which I had delegated too much of myself assisting others rather than “putting on my oxygen mask first”.

The evidence of the impact of this season could be seen on: my calendar that showed no margin; my stress level from too little time in the gym; and my mental and physical health, showing signs of poor eating and mental fatigue. I was an effective leader of everyone but myself.

“Leader” – The word itself conjures up images of a person who is in charge, discerning, strategic and magnetic. We manage projects, build teams, solve problems and develop people while delegating and distributing vision necessary to bring the future into reality. But at the core of all our work lies a personal responsibility… to lead ourselves.

What I learned through this season, was that while I was good at delegating many things, I cannot delegate self-leadership. There are certain things that ONLY I can do. We have been designed to lead ourselves. This truth was unpacked in a much deeper way for me when I was studying Galatians 6:4-5 “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” (emphasis mine)

The word “LOAD” in this verse is a form used in the Greek language referring to some type of luggage or baggage. Some baggage could be hired out to be carried by a porter. But this particular word for “LOAD” is one the Greek language indicated can only be carried by YOU. It likened it to the fact that no one can be sick for you. No one can grieve for you. It became a powerful awareness for me to pay attention to the things in my life that only I can carry in my self-leadership.

As I began to apply this verse to my own self-leadership, I observed 5 things in my life that, slowly over time, I had allowed to be led by the urgency of others instead of the my own boundaries.

  1. MY POWER HOURS – Morning is the most productive time of my day, so I guard my power hours for my most pressing projects. I get up early each day and I need to guard that time to be focused on important projects, brainstorming and creativity. The saying is true that I cannot burn the candle at both ends. If I know my day starts really early, then I also need to guard that it cannot end very late. I need 8 hours of sleep and must guard my evenings to make sure I have powerful mornings. What are your power hours and how can you guard them?
  1. MY HABITS – Where am I wasting time? (social media, constant emailing, tv, phone) . Is my health suffering? (exercise, eating, stress) How are my relationships? (marriage, parenting, family and teammates) I need to consistently assess areas to identify ways my habits are becoming unhealthy.  Small choices – good or bad ones – over time can affect the person we become. What is one habit you know needs your self-leadership today?
  1. MY VOICE – Steven Covey “It’s easy to say no when you understand your greater yes.” I’ve identified my greater yes to be about things that are specific to my calling, passions, goals and dreams. It releases me to say YES and, more importantly, to say NO to family, professional, and even social invitations and decisions. What is a decision you’re facing that you are tempted to give away your voice?
  1. MY CALLING – There are certain things I am currently doing that many other people can do. However, there are a few things that ONLY I CAN DO. I continually need to filter my calendar, decisions and commitments through my calling and mission statement. I need to challenge myself to say NO to good things in order to say YES to better things. I have been uniquely designed to leave a mark that only Lisa Allen can leave on this world. Can you find one thing to take off your calendar today that can be done by someone else in order to create room for something only YOU can do?
  1. LIVING MY VALUES – Authenticity is one of my top personal values. Am I the same person on the inside as the outside? Am I the same leader at home as I am in the office? Who am I when no one is looking at me?  Leaders who practice self-leadership are keenly aware of the inconsistencies in their lives. Take a good look at yourself and identify any areas that you know are inconsistent with your values. Redirect your choices to reflect the values you hold dear.

From one leader to another, I hope you can learn from my missteps. Aristotle says “We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” What are the things that you need to “take back” in order to put the “oxygen mask of self-leadership” back on today? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

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Emotional agility: The Key to Leadership Success

May 30, 2014 by

Leadership-Agility-Business-EmotionalAll the top clients were in the room and all eyes were on the CEO. He walked up with a smile and began “It has been a great year for us. We have grown and continue to grow. We are looking at Asia to grow.” and continued in this vein for ten minutes.  I am not sure if he noticed the luke warm applause that followed his self-centered speech that could have been delivered easily by a junior intern ! In this defense he did learn a few words in the foreign language of the audience in an attempt to connect with them but I could not help but think it is emotions and not linguistics which is the international language of leadership.

It is the language of emotions that leaders must develop greater fluency and agility in, if they want to connect people to a vision or inspire them to action. They must develop emotional agility to leverage the privilege of the platform that leadership provides to them. I define emotional agility as the skill a leader has to tap into the right emotion at the right time for the right purpose. One can think of it as a specific subset of emotional intelligence which taps into a larger domain of the management and regulation of emotions.  The more I look around the more evidence I gather of lack of emotional agility in leaders around the globe . One has to only look at the recent ill fated MH370 Malaysia flight that disappeared to see the lack of emotional agility of the team. They informed people of having lost their loved ones first via text messages. Leadership is not just about management of information but also management of emotions.

How can we acquire and display emotional agility?

 

1. Learn more about yourself:

Like most things in leadership the fluency begins with self awareness and discovering what is our own level of comfort with dealing with emotions – that of self or others. Some of us are more expressive and willing to be vulnerable in the moment while others hide behind personas by adopting masks that prevent people from seeing the real you. Needless to say the former have an edge in being emotionally agile but even in the latter situation it is a skill that can be learnt. In the day and age of flat structures the emotional accessibility of the leader help connect them with the people they lead.

If you observe a pattern in the situations where you often encounter an impasse for instance, it may be time to step back and consider if expression/acknowledgement of emotions of the parties involved was in anyway at the root of it all. We all have blind-spots about the way we deal with emotions and those must be overcome for developing emotional agility.

2. Learn more about the culture seek to influence:

Different cultures deal differently with emotions. While smiling even at a stranger or greeting them as you meet them on the street maybe common in some western countries, it may be seen as intrusion and be met with distrust in some Eastern ones. In Japan for instance, customers service reps have had to be taught to smile by holding pencils between their teeth as traditionally smiling has been equated with the attempt to hide something. Casual banter from senior leaders may be acceptable in the US but is not so common in China. So the context of the expression of emotion matters. Incidentally, you don’t have to go East or be in China for this to apply. Given the global world we live in, your colleagues might treat the expression of emotion differently than you.

3. Learn to be a great storyteller:

Given my work on corporate storytelling, I have come to the conclusion that there is a strong correlation between great storytelling and emotional agility. Being a good storyteller requires you to go beyond the knowledge of story structures, formulas and scripts to the wisdom of which story to tell, when to tell it and to whom. Stories harness emotions like no other expression. They cut across cultural and functional boundaries.

The best example I see of this is the relationship between India and Pakistan where both parties have been at war more than once and the relations can become strained on many issues but Pakistani plays are highly popular in India as are Bollywood films in Pakistan. When immersed in stories we experience a safe space for connection and so adding storytelling to your repertoire increases your emotional agility. As Christina Baldwin famously put it – words are how we think but stories are how we link.

Logic may lead us to a conclusion but it is emotions that move us to action. And a leader that can inspire action is a force to reckon with anywhere in the world!

What do you think about emotional agility? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

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Using Pole Dancing to Rekindle One’s Passion for Business

May 29, 2014 by

Pole-Dancing-Leadership-PassionPassion in a business setting is very individually experienced. Some call it drive or motivation that appears regularly to spur them on their way. While for others, passion is something that they do—a true calling or a “dream job”—where the content of their work is what keeps them going, not the daily activities. Regardless of how you define it, passion in your business can ebb and flow naturally, driven by changes in your personal life such as having a new baby or through external impacts like losing a big client. But when it’s missing, your life just isn’t the same without it.

With no real athleticism, I took my first pole dancing class three years ago during a time when my passion for my business and life in general was at an all time low. Pole dancing is a popular, alternative workout mixing cardiovascular dance movement and strength-based lifts, high in the air around a slim metal pole. (Shape Magazine named it one of the 15 hottest fitness trends)

I am a leader in my primary business, and serve as a leader for multiple non-profit organizations. Losing my “mojo” was not just bad for business—it was making me physically ill and emotionally depressed. A leader needs to always know where they are going, or at least be happy and positive trudging through the difficult jungles of economic uncertainty. I was neither happy nor positive and it was starting to show, affecting the morale of my team and our ability to provide true value to our customers. I had to do something to dramatically change my outlook. Pole dancing was completely out of my comfort zone but I was willing to try anything!

Roadblocks to Living a Passionate Life and Defining Success

The biggest roadblocks to living our business lives passionately everyday are expectations—paradigms we follow either provided to us by our upbringing or self-imposed from envious comparisons to our peers: “If everyone’s dream job is in finance, is that what I should do?” “My parents will only be proud of me if I get a ‘real job’ so I won’t become an artist.”

Pole dancing is salacious. Instant reactions almost immediately conjure up negative perceptions including the objectification of women or scandalous thoughts about nudity and sexuality. One of the first reactions to my new-found fitness hobby, was a hardy (and clearly nervous) laugh from a fellow board member who spent the remainder of our strategic planning meeting furtively glancing across the conference table at me in open shock, mentally trying to mesh the seemingly opposing concepts of “board president” and “pole dancer.”

Fear—of loss, of failure, of not living up to those paradigms and disappointing people whose opinions we value —can prevent us from living the life that is most fulfilling to us personally, our passionate life. Fear can lead us to shore up paradigms that we know don’t feel right, provide excuses for not breaking out of our comfort zone and mire us further in a downward spiral of negative thoughts and actions: “I can’t do this, I’m not good enough, I’ll never be happy.”

Not only am I not naturally athletic, I am also deathly afraid of heights. Of course an intense fitness activity that involved heights would propel me completely out of the “funk” I’d fallen into!

The first time I climbed to the very top of the pole I thought I would have a heart attack. I looked below, sweaty palms, white-knuckle-clenched to see the smiling faces of my fellow students and my supportive “pole mom” instructor cheering me on and I started to believe, for just a moment, that perhaps if I could conquer this, maybe I could conquer other my fears and worries about business and rediscover my passion. Maybe things weren’t really as bad as they seemed.

Since no one is born with a natural ability to shimmy up a slippery, chrome apparatus, the pole dance community is incredibly supportive of men and women of all shapes, sizes and abilities. Every small improvement, every tiny victory over previously insurmountable physical or emotional limitations are a cause for celebration. Each class, as I got a little stronger, a little more confident in my ability, slowly those feelings of empowerment started to translate to other parts of my life too and I began to walk, then run and now leap out of bed ready to face the challenges of the day. My passion was coming back!

It’s Up to You!

Today, even though market conditions haven’t gotten much rosier, my outlook has and my passion for providing excellent service wearing all my many professional “hats” has improved dramatically. I’m bothered less by the little things that used to easily derail my optimism and I’m not afraid of what others think about how I live my life and run my businesses. If I could swing my entire body upside down, I could do anything! Pole dancing may not be the panacea for all your business ails but try something totally different that engages you in a new way—you never know what you’ll discover. No one is ever too old, too young, too unfit, too uncoordinated or too any-excuse-you-can-muster to live a passionate life that is perfectly right for them.

The only one holding you back from living your passionate life is you. So what are you waiting for? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Filed Under: International Leadership Blogathon Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Leadership & The Power of Curious

May 28, 2014 by

Curious-Curiosity-LeadershipYou never know where a conversation could lead you.  It can start out with a simple, “hello” and lead to a short chat that ends quickly, or could turn into hours of discussion; but only if you let listening and curiosity take over.

The power of curious is really about not setting an agenda; about not being so set on an end result that you avoid or overlook or completely ignore the interesting, engaging, and authentic people that are sitting right in front of you.  They might have so much to offer, if you simply listen with a curious ear.

Try this in your next one-on-one or relationship-building meeting:  Focus on asking good questions that lead from one to another through curiosity.  Remove the need to reach a conclusive objective.  I experimented with this exercise in a coffee-chat debrief with a client.  The purpose of the coffee-chat was to get feedback on a session I had just facilitated for his team.  (I am always interested in feedback as it helps me become a better coach and facilitator). After receiving the feedback, I asked a number of questions that while, relevant to the feedback, also helped me better understand his team, their processes, their work and their clients.  At the end of our time together (30 minutes led to 60 minutes), he was impressed by my interview skills and asked me to facilitate another session for his group.

I was amazed at the power that this type of conversation holds.  Not only did I allow myself to be open to what could happen, I also was able to create a safe environment that allowed my coffee-companion to be open as well. Less pressure, more honesty, more connection, leading to a better relationship – all thanks to curiosity.

Think about this as a leader – How can the power of being curious impact my team?

It can lead to:

  • Innovation
  • Confidence-building
  • Problem-solving
  • Elimination of personal agendas
  • Removal of silos
  • Better understanding of priorities and mission
  • Ability to visualize success
  • Opportunity to learn from mistakes in a judgment-free zone

As you approach your next relationship-building opportunities & meetings, try the following to prepare for the power of curious to kick in:

  • Allow the person you are meeting to set the agenda, if any at all
  • Put your phone, tablet and/or pen away, and be present with undivided attention
  • Ask for clarification and further details or examples as often as possible
  • Concentrate on what is being said, not what you will say next

The power of curious comes from listening, being truly present.  Your curiosity will model the way for others to be curious.  It allows creativity to brew and build, relationships to strengthen and grow, bridges between groups to build, and foster momentum that can change the future.

How do you practice curiosity in your leadership? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Filed Under: International Leadership Blogathon Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Lead Like a Skinny Cow

May 27, 2014 by

Skinny-cow-leadershipRecently my organization underwent a grueling boot camp style, dramatic and innovative healthcare system process redesign. It was a rip the band-aid off fast approach, and two weeks of asking people to quickly change many of the ingrained daily processes they had known for many years. Set-up for organizational failure?

Nope. I was impressed by the speed at which we were able to accomplish much, while never losing a soul. One of the reasons it worked out so well was due to our Sherpa’s. In the Tibetan region of the Himalayas, Sherpa’s are guides that are highly regarded as elite mountaineers and experts in their local terrain. Our assigned “Sherpa’s” commanded leadership to get out of the way, sought positive opportunities for change at the front lines, and guided staff in doing what they needed to do. As leaders our sole role was to get behind them, coach them, and support them. It worked well.

Skinny Cow Leadership

At the end of two weeks I joyfully arrived at the office with celebratory boxes of Skinny Cow Ice Cream sandwiches at 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. I had purchased all the flavors I could find, Mint and Chip, Cookies and Crème, Vanilla, and Chocolate. It seemed like such a small thing to do, cost all of $15, yet the experience made me appreciate something far greater. As I journeyed to each work station and watched the faces light up, offering the yummy ice cream sandwiches, I was reminded of how important it is as leaders we first serve others. As I traveled to a next department, I heard a female voice yelling from down the hall, “Susan, wait, I was told I should find you.” Honestly I felt a bit like the Pied Piper. It made me wonder, what if we could lead in a manner that compelled people to follow us with the same enthusiasm, even in the absence of ice cream. Servant leaders do, through three simple behaviors that contribute the cultivation of a culture that responds in just that way.

Servant Leadership

First and foremost, if we as leaders expect to have followers, we must first serve others. The greatest contribution a servant leader can offer their team will not be in what we do, but in what we offer to do for others. The way you can do this and achieve great results begins with asking others “What is the one thing I could take off your plate today that would make your day better?” If you’ve never done this they will look at you in disbelief. “Yes, really. What can I take off of your plate?” Each time I have asked that question I have been handed a task, and most often it is something so very basic. It can be as simple as communicating a message to another department that they do not feel comfortable in delivering themselves, or the addition of a shred basket at their work station; little things go a long way.

Effective Leadership

Secondly, effective servant leaders close the gap.  Once you’ve accepted the task of taking something off someone’s plate, remember to circle back around and close the gap; were you effective in your actions. Check back in with followers and ask how it’s going. Did your actions actually serve to make their day better? If you were effective in your efforts it will reinforce to your followers that you are there to support them, you are on their side. In practicing the “close the gap” you will strengthen your ability to effectively listen to, and serve others. You won’t know if you were effective if you don’t ask. Effective servant leaders are good listeners and ask good questions.

Ask to Serve

Lastly, effective servant leaders recognize that most of us are not very good at asking for and accepting assistance. We humans, for whatever reason tend to feel less worthy of accepting help.  I was recently reminded of this during a trip to the grocery store. At the checkout, instead of the obligatory “Do you need any help to your car?” (to which I always decline since I truly do not NEED any help), the freckly faced bag girl grabbed my three bags and with a big smile said “Which way to your car?” A sudden feeling of being served and cared for hit me. As we walked to the car I had the pleasurable experience of connecting with her on a very basic level, a human experience I would not have otherwise had. The benefits of doing this for our followers, of giving one the feeling of being served and cared for is something we could all use  little more of.

The top three servant leader messages:

  • Your greatest work will not be in what you told others to do, it will be recognized by your service to others.
  • To do great work you must know what it is that others value, start by asking questions. Stop telling and start asking, then stop asking and start doing.
  • There are no leaders without followers  If we expect to effectively lead we must sometimes get out of the way of our people and get behind them. Effective servant leaders don’t stand in front of our people, we get behind them.

How do you go about serving those you lead. Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

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