Bloody Noses, Vices, & Leadership … Oh My!

Leadership and VicesTwo weeks ago I found myself in the hospital emergency room. I was there because I experienced a truly epic nose bleed. After trying to stop the down-pouring of blood for 2 hours, I finally conceded and went to the hospital. I was put in a room and waited, for what felt like a forever. Then it happened, my body said, “That is enough.” I had lost tons of blood, my blood pressure dropped, I finally passed out. I awoke to several doctors and nurses lifting me up to a bed while simultaneously cutting my shirt off and poking me with things.

Minutes later, as the IV fluids and oxygen kicked in, I laid there and stared up at the ceiling and thought to myself, “ Isn’t it amazing how the smallest and most insignificant things can destroy us.” You don’t think of a bloody nose as being life-threatening, although after some research it has happened – I guess the great Genghis Khan died of a nosebleed.

The Vices of Destruction

So the next day I decided to look at what were some of the small things in life that were destroying me. The first thing was my craving of diet soda. There is overwhelming research of the health effects of caffeine, and the absolutely disastrous effects of Aspartame (the sweetener in Diet Soda and many non-sugar sweeteners.) Here is an article and a video if you want to know more, but that is not what this article is about.

It has now been two weeks free of those substances and I am feeling great. But dealing with the dizziness, extreme thirst, jittery hands, and massive exhaustion for two weeks reminded me of how the small vices or problems in life, business, and leadership can bring us to the edge of destruction, or limit us in ways that we never knew. For those that follow my writings, I actually write a lot about this topic. I feel one must be vigilant and always looking for ways to improve and grow.

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Can you say, “I made it?”

Two days ago I presented an all day workshop on execution to a company in Ohio. I normally would not have been able to get through the day without some soda and caffeine to artificially stimulate some energy. I was on my feet the entire day; talking, interacting, motivating, problem solving …and I made it. I drank more than 8 bottles of water throughout the day, was exausted at the end of the day, but I made it.

The next day I was up at 4:20 AM EST, to catch my flight to California. This is 1:30 am California time. I was pretty tired all day because of the exhaustion of the previous day and my lack of sleep, but I made it to 9:00 PM PST without any artificial stimulation …I made it.

Often times the smallest habits and vices in life or business, can be the things that cause the greatest impact for your life or business. Often, one small course correction can lead you to new heights. I challenge you to make this week, a week of discovering those vices. Make a plan, ask others for help, and execute change in your life or organization that will create miracles of success. I hope in the end, you can say, “I made it.”

Who is a Leader?

Are You a LeaderThere is an old saying, “in today’s world, its not what you know but who you know that counts.” Now lets modify it to fit the context of leadership, “in today’s world it’s not what you know that makes you a leader; it’s who you are that counts.”

I am working from the assumption that anyone writing and reading in the leadership development space has long since moved beyond the ‘either you have it or you don’t’ paradigm that sees organisational leadership as a simple ‘talent’ issue.  More than likely also is acknowledgement that having a good tool kit is only one aspect of leadership and that development implies ongoing endeavors.  Possibly even, systems thinking is the lens through which the issue of developing leadership is viewed.

There is currently quite a buzz about leadership and systems thinking.  The language of complexity and chaos theory pervades blogs, academic writing, and discussion about systems thinking and its practical application to the field of leadership development.  There is also a significant buzz to the opposite effect in terms of the lack of practicality despite any attractiveness of the theory.

It seems to me, however, that whilst the pace of change has increased exponentially, the world in which we humans live has always been complex to a greater or lesser degree.  Really, all that has changed is that some of us now see it from a different perspective.

Similarly, viewing the world from a simple ‘either/or’ world view is just that; it is a way of seeing things, a paradigm – which unfortunately for those in the minority – still largely dominates the world of organisations.  It also seems to me, to use a very crude analogy, that to try to persuade doubters of the practical application of a systems thinking approach is a bit like a pacifist trying to prevent war by fighting.

I sometimes wonder whether the benefit of systems thinking is not so much in any practical organisational application, but more in giving us a lens though which we can view who we are, and where we fit in the complex world in which we live and work.  That is, being more conscious about who we are and what we seek to create in the world enables us to create more meaning and satisfaction in our lives.  Being and not doing is to me, the real power of systems thinking and is also the ‘who’ of leadership.

I think the following story gives a flavour of what I am trying to describe.  Or company did some work with a group of leaders not so long ago.  We were looking at the place of personal growth and self-development in the role matrix of being a leader.  About half way through the session a question was posed to the leaders group about what they might change in themselves in order to generate a different outcome with a ‘difficult’ employee.  The response from one leader (let’s call him William) was clear, and somewhat bluntly delivered, “Why should I care?  As far as I am concerned they either like it or lump it!  If they don’t like my leadership they can go and work somewhere else”.  There was a momentary and rather shocked silence in the group before my well practised ‘group leader’ swung into action and we moved forward with the session as adequately as possible.   But, in that moment, what I was really conscious of was that I wanted to say, “Well you SHOULD care about the poor people who work for you!”

This incident led to some soul searching within me in the weeks following, and I wish to share some of my thinking with you.  My first reflections were thus:

  1. Systems thinking tells us that everything we are is learned.  No matter how blessed our genes, early life experiences and later experience in life and work, no leader is capable of optimally managing every situation he or she faces; nor is he or she beyond learning something new.  .
  2. Further to that, Ken Wilber in his Integral Theory describes the development of a new paradigm as both ‘including and transcending’ a previous paradigm.  Systems thinking also tells us that a holistic systems thinking approach is a more sophisticated paradigm than the mechanistic cause and effect, ‘either / or’ view of the world this leader was demonstrating.

But, despite the comfort of knowing this, something didn’t quite sit right in me.  The only way I can articulate what I was also thinking goes something like this…. Who am I to judge? ‘I am right and he is wrong’ is not a systems thinking way of seeing this situation.  So I began to reflect on and examine the situation from the perspective of some of the following understandings about systems thinking that we use in our work:

  • We human beings operate in our work and play in a network of relationship where it is impossible to fully see and understand the extent of the whole picture.
  • Even if we could see it all it is only a snapshot of a moment in time and then the next interaction occurs and the whole picture changes.
  • We cannot anticipate what will happen next.  We can warm up to what is possible but ultimately we have to act in the moment to respond as best we can to the situation or person we encounter.
  • How we respond is dependent on our personal ‘role system’ or the role repertoire we have developed within ourselves over time.

(N.B. a role comprises the values, beliefs, somatic experience and behavioural expression of a whole world view that occurs in response to another person or situation).

  • ‘Who we are’ emerges from our role system.
  • There has to be a sufficient level of perturbation in a system for change to occur.  Challenge is often the first step to change and every challenge is an opportunity to learn something new and add to our role system – or for changes to occur in the wider social system.
  • We can also choose to grow our role system (or wider social system) by being consciousness of what we are seeking to create.
  • Just as ‘we are what we eat’, who we are will largely determine who will follow us.

As I reflected on the situation I came to the following understanding:

  • The leader in question works for a large and successful family-owned business. There is a very low staff turnover and many staff remain in the business over their entire working lives.  They don’t consider themselves poor at all!

We have observed that many people who choose to work in family-owned and operated businesses tend to be comfortable or perhaps more accurately familiar with and accepting of the dynamics of such a family system; and perhaps originate from similar family systems themselves.  In such situations there is little need for change to the leadership practices in the business and the ‘FIFO’ principle works well.

  • In our work I have learned, sometimes painfully, that the way we work is not for everyone, not everyone is ready, willing and / or able to work with a systems thinking approach and the situation I have described was one of those occasions.   There simply was no requirement for William to change.

I myself however, found that I was really challenged by how judgmental I felt in the moment of William’s response.  My personal reaction to this situation was incongruent with my view of myself as a leader.  I highly value diversity, and struggled with the idea that I might expect William to see the world from the same lens as I did; or that I would believe his response was less acceptable than mine (even though I did).  This situation provided a platform for my learning and for growing who I am as a leader.

A wise teacher once said to me when I was struggling to deal with a situation where I was not the formally mandated leader, but it seemed that rest of the group I was working with were looking to me for some sort of leadership.  He said, “Leadership is conferred by the people who follow you.  The question here is not, Are you the leader?  The question is, Who is the leader you choose to be?”

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