Are You a Truly Successful Leader? Here’s How to Tell!

June 5, 2014 by

Leadership-In-The-Home“You have two weeks to live.” The doctor closes the door and leaves you to your thoughts. As you sit there, trying to process what you’ve just heard, what are you thinking about? Seriously. What matters now? With whom will you long to spend your last moments? Doing what?  What will you wish you had done differently? What will you be so grateful you did?

One of the top regrets expressed by terminally ill patients was that they wished they hadn’t worked so hard. “They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.” They “deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

As essential as they are, success and leadership in both community and business still pale in comparison to the consummate importance of leadership in the home. Unfortunately, many smart and talented people passionately pursue leadership at work and passively accept leadership at home. Hence, the thriving careers and businesses… and the failing families.

No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” ~David O. McKay

Even From There—My Story

My dad was gone before I was born. Step dad after step dad; each failed to rise to the role of a true leader in the home. I ended up out on my own at an early age; hurting, struggling… desperate. I vividly remember one cold, lonely Christmas Eve, sitting by myself in a very dreary, despicable place. On a night when we should be celebrating with family, I sat alone watching my breath in the frigid air. The loneliness was almost more than I could bear. That night became one of the turning points in my life.

I DECIDED I would have a family that would always be close together. A family that would be created on the highest principles and values and would be filled with love and happiness. A family that would be built with an unbreakable bond. I was determined to create a fantastic family, to be a leader in my home;  and I was ready to do whatever it required.

I went after it like a cheetah chases a gazelle. I read and studied voraciously, I still do. I observed and interviewed both the successful and the unsuccessful. I wanted to KNOW what it takes to be a world class husband, father and leader.

I’ve found the answers, and I’ve continued studying marriage, parenting, personal development and leadership for 18 years; and teaching it around the globe.

Today, my amazing wife and I have an incredibly blissful marriage. No lie, our marriage rocks! We have six wonderful children, with whom we love to travel the world and really enjoy life. As I write this article, I am looking out over the lush mountains below our temporary home in Costa Rica.

Happy Families

If I can climb from where I started to who I am, then you can too. Today, right now, can be a turning point in your life; the day you decide with all your heart and soul, to be a leader in your own home.

None of us need look very far to realize that leadership in the home is MIA—missing in action. Parents are so stressed out; their lives are filled with anxiety and turmoil. So many are failing to rise to their full potential as leaders in their home.

Families are falling apart. The divorce rate is pathetically high. Many of those who stay together are unhappy, and merely co-exist.  The chasm between parents and children is widening. The bonds are breaking.

The family is the fundamental unit of society and eternity, and is the basis for true happiness and fulfillment in life. The quality of your family life directly affects everything else you do!

It’s time for you to lead! What is leadership in the home?

  • It’s putting your family first, and proving it with your time and attention.
  • It’s working on yourself harder than you work on anything else. Pursue personal greatness as a spouse, parent and a leader.
  • It’s putting in the time and effort for real preparation and performance at home.

How long and hard did you study for mastery at the university level or in the work place? Does your effort and commitment for mastery in the home match or exceed that? Have you studied successful marriage and parenting even half as hard as you studied for a thesis or dissertation?

Family is the most important part of this life. Is that truth evident in your thoughts and habits? Is your quest for excellence in the home even half as passionate as the quest for material success?

No matter your past. No matter your circumstances. You can become a phenomenal leader in your home.

Children are a gift from God. One day He will ask for an accounting of this most precious stewardship. I challenge you to live in such a way, that on that day, you will be able to look up with confidence and say, “I was a leader in my home.”

Reach upward!

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Filed Under: International Leadership Blogathon Tagged With: , , , , ,

Leadership & Management: What Behaviors Are Your Staff Copying from Your Example?

February 14, 2013 by

Leadership-Management-Behaviors-ExampleWhen the television show “Undercover Boss” made its premier a few years ago, much of America tuned in to watch the antics. What the show’s producers were probably looking for was a way to entertain the masses while they watched poor “unknowing” bosses do things like clean toilets and flip burgers. Of course in the end, there’s always that pivotal moment when the boss realizes the hard work his staff is doing behind the scenes. He learns to be more appreciative of them and looks at them a little differently than ever before.

What this show failed to capture though, is the importance of great leadership within an organization. Dwight Eisenhower gave a great definition to the word leadership when he said, “Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” There is not better way to get people to do what you want, then to inspire them and be an example of the behaviors and actions you desire.

Like a young boy imitating his father, employees will also follow your example.  They want to follow your example, and they need you if they’re going to properly understand how the organization functions. Leaders have far more power within their organizations than most realize. If your staff see you cleaning toilets, they will see the importance of cleaning toilets. They might not enjoy it anymore than you do, but they’ll see the importance of it. If they see your actions align with your your words and instructions, they will understand the importance of that instruction. If they see your constant focus on improvement, they will understand the importance of it

Unfortunately the same is true on the flip-side of leadership.  Bad habits that are exemplified by leaders, will often be duplicated by staff. Do you ignore customers but expect your staff to treat them wonderfully? Do you talk about cutting expenses, but then fly first class everywhere?

Bad habits that are exemplified by leaders, will often be duplicated by staff.” Tweet This!

Sometimes it takes an outsider’s insight into your leadership style to find ways that you can improve.  A mentor or coach, can offer guidance with an outside perspective. Without a mentor, no business owner can be as successful as they want to be. I have seen leaders do horrible things, that they had no clue they did. An outside perspective can help you see what you don’t.

When is the last time you did the work of someone a couple levels under you? You should try it. You’ll get valuable insight into what your employees go through each day. Even more though, you’ll show them that you want to understand, and that what they do is important.

Please share your thoughts and leave a comment below.

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The Anti-List of Leadership Qualities

June 24, 2011 by

NO, this is not another list of qualities you must have in order to be a great leader.  There are numerous books, articles and blog posts written about the qualities that make up a leader… they drive me crazy.  Whenever I see these I cringe.   They seem to describe this fantastical immortal persona of which none of us will ever be worthy to eat the crumbs off their cloud of perfection, let alone achieve their glorious state of existence.

These lists, if looked at the wrong way, can be demoralizing as we measure ourselves against them.  To the small business owner, manager, executive or well….human being, these lists can be, misleading and squash one’s own leadership traits and styles into a mold that may not work for them or their organization.

There are many different kinds of leaders with often opposing traits.  I will not mention any names, but there have been great leaders, in the technical sense of the word, that have been downright immoral, even evil, yet have carried the many of the qualities that many would accept as being attached to a great leader.  On the adverse side of that there have been many great leaders that posessed many negative qualities that would normally be attached to a leader.

Additionally there are many leaders that have leadership qualities that might seem contradictory to many of the accepted leadership qualities that exist, yet they lead thriving organizations and employ thousands of people.  If a leader were to be dishonest in their personal affairs, have poor tact, be selfish, overly assertive, yet employ tens of thousands of successful people and produce a product or service that benefits society, does that mean they are a bad leader?  While reversing those attributes to be more positive “might” make them a better leader, they are still successful and may even carry great respect among the individuals they lead.

I saw an article that listed enthusiasm as a necesary quality of great leaders.  Would that attribute be helpful for a funeral director?  I read an article that listed openness as a necesary quality.  Would that serve as a benefical quality to a goverment military leader?  I saw another article that listed patience.  Would that serve the director of a hospital emergency room?

Another aspect of leadership qualities is that they can be thrust onto non-leaders who are then labeled as leaders.  I recently watched a video on the Internet about leadership and it featured Tiger Woods as a great leader because he had vision and determination.  Huh?  Just because an individual possesses important qualities of success, does not mean they are a leader.

I think a person can be a great leader with the right quality at the right time for the right organization and still be failing with many other leadership traits.  An effective leader, focuses on his/her strengths and surrounds themselves with people that can fill in the weaknesses.

So the next time you see a leadership quality list, I would challenge you to focus on strengthening what you are good at and then to selectively pick the attributes that you feel will be beneficial to your organization and then work on improving them.  Don’t be overwhelmed because you are not a perfect Boy Scout.  Focus on what you do have and make sure what you have is what the organization needs.

I’d love to hear your thoughts below.

Filed Under: Leadership Qualities Tagged With: , , , ,