“You have two weeks to live.” The doctor closes the door and leaves you to your thoughts. As you sit there, trying to process what you’ve just heard, what are you thinking about? Seriously. What matters now? With whom will you long to spend your last moments? Doing what? What will you wish you had done differently? What will you be so grateful you did?
One of the top regrets expressed by terminally ill patients was that they wished they hadn’t worked so hard. “They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.” They “deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
As essential as they are, success and leadership in both community and business still pale in comparison to the consummate importance of leadership in the home. Unfortunately, many smart and talented people passionately pursue leadership at work and passively accept leadership at home. Hence, the thriving careers and businesses… and the failing families.
No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” ~David O. McKay
Even From There—My Story
My dad was gone before I was born. Step dad after step dad; each failed to rise to the role of a true leader in the home. I ended up out on my own at an early age; hurting, struggling… desperate. I vividly remember one cold, lonely Christmas Eve, sitting by myself in a very dreary, despicable place. On a night when we should be celebrating with family, I sat alone watching my breath in the frigid air. The loneliness was almost more than I could bear. That night became one of the turning points in my life.
I DECIDED I would have a family that would always be close together. A family that would be created on the highest principles and values and would be filled with love and happiness. A family that would be built with an unbreakable bond. I was determined to create a fantastic family, to be a leader in my home; and I was ready to do whatever it required.
I went after it like a cheetah chases a gazelle. I read and studied voraciously, I still do. I observed and interviewed both the successful and the unsuccessful. I wanted to KNOW what it takes to be a world class husband, father and leader.
I’ve found the answers, and I’ve continued studying marriage, parenting, personal development and leadership for 18 years; and teaching it around the globe.
Today, my amazing wife and I have an incredibly blissful marriage. No lie, our marriage rocks! We have six wonderful children, with whom we love to travel the world and really enjoy life. As I write this article, I am looking out over the lush mountains below our temporary home in Costa Rica.
Happy Families
If I can climb from where I started to who I am, then you can too. Today, right now, can be a turning point in your life; the day you decide with all your heart and soul, to be a leader in your own home.
None of us need look very far to realize that leadership in the home is MIA—missing in action. Parents are so stressed out; their lives are filled with anxiety and turmoil. So many are failing to rise to their full potential as leaders in their home.
Families are falling apart. The divorce rate is pathetically high. Many of those who stay together are unhappy, and merely co-exist. The chasm between parents and children is widening. The bonds are breaking.
The family is the fundamental unit of society and eternity, and is the basis for true happiness and fulfillment in life. The quality of your family life directly affects everything else you do!
It’s time for you to lead! What is leadership in the home?
- It’s putting your family first, and proving it with your time and attention.
- It’s working on yourself harder than you work on anything else. Pursue personal greatness as a spouse, parent and a leader.
- It’s putting in the time and effort for real preparation and performance at home.
How long and hard did you study for mastery at the university level or in the work place? Does your effort and commitment for mastery in the home match or exceed that? Have you studied successful marriage and parenting even half as hard as you studied for a thesis or dissertation?
Family is the most important part of this life. Is that truth evident in your thoughts and habits? Is your quest for excellence in the home even half as passionate as the quest for material success?
No matter your past. No matter your circumstances. You can become a phenomenal leader in your home.
Children are a gift from God. One day He will ask for an accounting of this most precious stewardship. I challenge you to live in such a way, that on that day, you will be able to look up with confidence and say, “I was a leader in my home.”
Reach upward!
Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
About Greg Denning
Unless me and my fiancee are happy Greg, I’m not leading or succeeding. Success is a domestic job 😉 Thanks!
Enjoyed your article thanks Greg. I am blessed to be one of 5 children from a family where my parents put family first. And yes, they each had some pretty tough times in their childhoods. Now, my parents are loved and cherished all the way down to their great grandchildren. It’s always a great time when the 40 or 50 of us all get together once or twice a year for a family function. They will leave a legacy for us all, family first.
Greg,
You are right on point with your article. Thank you for sharing your personal story and congratulations on a ‘blissful’ life. I am working on it – as you said it, you have to prepare and be intentional about your leadership at home.
Willy
Hello Greg,
Your post certainly helps us separate the important from the urgent. We do spend so much time in the “whirlwind” to the detriment of the “important and fulfilling”. Thank you for your encouragement to lead at home first.
All the best,
Susan
Thanks Susan. You’re right; separating important and urgent is such a critical, life long challenge. Keeping that focus makes such a difference.
Woohoo! Todd was right. I felt like I was writing this article Greg. What an awesome piece! Thank you for reminding all of us that the true genesis of leadership is at the home front. I can’t help but share an excerpt from my book that nearly mirrors a part of your article…
“START WHERE YOU ARE – When I was twelve years old, I made some rather bold (and potentially dangerous ) decisions. I had to take control of my life and drive it to a bigger good. The first was that I would one day get married and have two children… Another significant promise I made to myself was that I would make space in my life for my children, that when the time came, I would be available to roll with them in the grass, enjoy moments of silly jokes, and most importantly, devote myself to loving their mother, my soul mate.” Kimunya Mugo, Down But Not Out: Becoming a Significant Leader at Home (Bloomington, Indiana: WestBow Press, 2013)
Thanks for sharing this awesome message from your book! I love that you had enough vision to see what mattered most and planned accordingly. You nailed it!
And to know that I am not alone is pretty awesome. I’m glad we have met you here 🙂
Greg,
I enjoyed reading this and it also tugged at my heart strings. You are blessed to have such focus and the strength to live life on your terms. Thanks for sharing!
Regards,
Lee
Thanks Lee. Having started with nothing as a young man gave me tremendous clarity about what mattered most. I do feel very blessed and I sincerely believe that leading in the home brings the best rewards life has to offer.
Truly, every male needs to read this because it contains wisdom for successful fatherhood and parenting. I agree with you that Family is one of the most important part of this life.
I feel your passion for the world to have a better family. I always tell people that a man who has failed in leading his family should not be allowed to take a place in public leadership, that is why many of these politicians who occupy leadership positions are failing us.
Charity begins at home. Thank you Sir Greg for this beautiful wisdom you shared with us. Remain a blessing!
Whoa! I love your position, and I agree. A leader who leads at home FIRST will have so much more to offer in the public. Thanks.
Greg,
Terrific way of expressing what is really important in life: “…many smart and talented people passionately pursue leadership at work and passively accept leadership at home. Hence, the thriving careers and businesses… and the failing families.”
I’ve lived the first (failing families) and now I’m in the second “stage” (The family is the fundamental unit of society). It was hard but you need a strong will and as well support. I got both. I have four sons from two families that works and play and communicate and … all together. It is great to see this. We talk and we enjoy or do sports together.
There is no better time to spent but when you are with those you love and they love you!
Cheers
Jaro.
Way to be Jaro! Getting those four boys to work and play and communicate is an awesome accomplishment. Lead those boys into manhood!
Hi Greg,
Very powerful statement you make .. “The quality of your family life directly affects everything else you do!”
It also is a learning ground for much outside the home. Whether you are married, a parent, or a single adult, family dynamics offer some of the most challenging learning moments in life.
In those moments, we learn balance, persistence, equanimity, and humility — all qualities that hold us in good stead outside the home as well.
So much to learn here!
Kate
You are so right Kate. I love it! Home is the learning center for life. That why it is so critical to lead at home. What we acquire within the walls of our own homes goes with us out into the world. Thanks!