I’ve had the privilege of working with people from all over the world. The United States, Canada, Mexico, Argentina, Chile, India, Singapore, Philippines, China, Japan, Saudi Arabia, England, Kenya, Nigeria, Australia, New Zealand, and the list goes on and on. I don’t mention this to brag, instead I desire to state an observation about people in the world, people in your country, people in your city, and even people your office or home – THEY….ARE…..ALL…..DIFFERENT. If this is so obvious, why is it that leaders keep trying to peg people into their “Hole?”
The world is full of introverts, extroverts, and centroverts, bubbly people and serious people, thoughtful people and outgoing people. Actually that previous sentence is all wrong, sorry for leading you astray; the truth is that the world is full of… people. There is no type of person or personality that is necessarily better than another. People all have qualities that make them valuable and worthwhile, you are the same. I’m sure that most people the world over would agree more or less with that statement. Yet if that that is so true, why is it I keep seeing leaders try to form a culture that is modeled after their own personality?
The Mini-Me Culture
I have seen this play out dozens of times. The outgoing extrovert CEO trying to convert everyone into mini-mes. If the world were
full of pixie-dust unicorns, and Austin Powers, we might be able to do just that, fortunately we live in a much more realistic and diverse culture.
Instead the world is full of people – all different types, different flavors, different personalities, different communication methods, different cultures, different customs and a thousand other differences. A real leader will have the intuition to recognize the value that people bring and not judge them because they are different then themselves.
In working with people from all over the world, whether from a different culture, or the same; I have found the following practices to be beneficial in communicating and relating to those you work with:
- Mimic – Attempt to mimic their communication styles when possible while still integrating your own in the mix. For examples in Canada and England the word “Process” is pronounced proh-ses and in the United States we say pros-es. The difference is “O” vs “AAH” in the pronunciation.
- Observe – Take time to observe how the other person communicates. Examine their written and verbal communications. Check out social media to see how they communicate on those channels, as the way they communicate there, often is how they feel most comfortable communicating.
- Research – No need to do a big report, but take a few minutes and Google the communication styles of the country, culture, or type of person you are working with to be able to understand certain idiosyncrasies. There are many differences even within a country and taking the time to understand might mean the difference between being understood or being offended.
- Patient – Some cultures, even some sub-cultures in the United States and other countries, move a bit slower than many executives would like. A good working relationship will require mutual trust and respect.
- Recognize – To have a successful working relationship, whether it is a small project or a long one, it’s important for both parties to recognize the value that the other(s) brings to the project. Recognizing the value will help one to overlook the communication differences that might be bothering to one of the parties.
Accept Differences, Value Others
As we roll into the 3rd Annual International Leadership Blogathon and more importantly, as we roll on with our working lives, I hope you can find and see that everyone has value, and that everyone should not be forced into an ideological “hole” that a leader believes is their culture of nirvana with multitude of mini-mes doing their bidding. Everyone has value, you have value and as leaders is it our job to discover other’s values.
I’d love to hear your comments below and please stay-tuned to a lot of great articles in this year’s 3rd Annual Leadership Blogathon, starting today!
About Todd Nielsen
Obviously, we can’t connect with every one; even Jesus couldn’t to that. But truly inspirational leaders will adroitly reach across borders and boundaries, cultures and customs, to connect with people on their level and inspire them to be better.
Let’s reach beyond ourselves and connect with others on a deeper level.
Reach upward!
Well said Greg. I think we get so caught up in our lives and worrying about what we need to get done, that we don’t take the time to reach across and develop an understanding of those that can actually help us, and need our help.
As a work team leader of many different nationalities, one tip I’d add: Meet them on their terms. Specifically, make the effort to call in when convenient for them. For example, I schedule meetings with India and China within – or as close to as possible – their business hours.
Your team will see and appreciate your sacrifice. It may be a “small” sacrifice, but it is a sacrifice you make to better serve them.
Great post, Todd.
That is a good point Ben. I have found when speaking about times and scheduling, just referring to times in their time zone is helpful. I appreciate your add.
Great start Todd. If people just learn to accept that being different means just that, not better not worse but just different a lot of wars would never be fought. People tend to attach value judgement to differences and that is where the trouble begins. I highly recommend putting yourself out of your comfort zone by doing even small things like eating a cuisine you are unfamiliar with or how I sometimes watch foreign language movies with subtitles only to see that there is ANOTHER way of doing things. Not better. Not worse. Just different.
Those are really good suggestions Tanvi. I also watch foreign movies sometimes and you do notice a lot of nuances. I love you suggestion about getting out of your comfort zone as well.
Awesome start to #2014ILB. You kick us off with a post that not only causes us to stop and think, but leaves us with an urgency to take meaningful action. Communication is enshrined in two powerful actions: Giving and Receiving. Both actions require one to be bold, humble, kind, loving, respectful, sincere and truthful. Leaders need to embrace a lot of receiving: feedback without reproach, criticism when they are wrong, and help when they fall down. This definitely comes through when differences emerge.
Thank you Todd.
Well said Kimunya, I don’t think I can add to that great wisdom!
I recall a small team I managed a few years ago that had about 9 different nationalities in it. Of all the teams I have managed this was one of my most favourite. It is really important to understand and appreciate what is required to successfully manage such a culturally diverse team (in this case), but it is equally important just to enjoy the opportunity. It’s a great privilege to be able to mix with people from a different race, culture, gender and to be continually learning something new. Some great points in Todd’s article regarding setting yourself up for successful communication/relationships.
Wow every person on your team from a different country. Not only were you a leader, but they were as well. That can be very challenging. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Todd
Great start to what I’m sure will be the usual stimulating month! Difference can lead to richness, and we couldn’t have a decent team without it. But too often it leads to unhealthy conflict, mostly based on assumptions, stereotyping or baggage. Your post has some good tips for overcoming the natural thinking flaws we make. My own would be to encourage people to ask questions before making statements, listen beyond the point you want to jump in and finally, when someone appears to be ‘different’, focus on what the difference has to offer you!
Good luck with the blogathon, I’m looking forward to the scoops!
Warmest wishes, David
Well said David, those are some great points. I hope to continue to see you around the blogathon this month.
Great beginning to the 3rd Annual Leadership Blogathon, Todd. And very appropriate as we review the upcoming month of articles. As you stated so clearly, we are all different in our perspectives. And isn’t that great? I, for one, shudder at the thought of a world full of mini-mes. The leader who embraces diversity in people and thoughts is the one who succeeds in leading his/her team to their sustainable vision. Thank you for reminding us that different is good. A message that should be communicated over and over again.
Thanks for your comment Susan. Yes I agree, a world of mini-mes and yes-man is not one I’d enjoy. I have worked for places like that, and it was painful.
You are correct. A great team is made up of individuals with differences working together to achieve a common goal.
So simple, but so hard to achieve. Therein lies the challenge of leadership.
Wow! The great event has kicked off and this keynote/opening speech is on point because I see leaders trying to make/force others speak, walk or do things like them.
I gained uncommon wisdom from reading this because it reminds me of common mistakes we make as leaders – wanting others to be like us.
Trying to peg people into your hole is negative madness because this is a waste of energy and can severe relationships.
No two individuals are the same, even if they are identical twin.
We are all unique individuals that are uniquely gifted.
As a leader, if you want people to become better, what you need to do is not to peg them into your hole but:
1. Appreciate their uniqueness.
2. Educate and empower them.
3. Give them a platform to thrive.
4. Believe in them.
These will help you encourage, enlighten and ennoble them and for sure, they will be their best and make the organization and their individual lives better.
Learn from people but don’t settle as a photocopy. The best you can be of another person is a second best.
Excellent comment Ifeanyi. I love your additions,
Great stuff you shared Sir Todd. It’s ageless. #Wisdom
Accept the differences, value others! An important foundation for life, not just leadership.
Very true Cheryl, that is a great foundation to live by.
Hi Todd,
Very interesting post. I have been teaching “adapting to type” for a long time and I love your analogy of not putting people into your own “hole”.
My one comment is be careful of the word “mimic”. Some people take this to mean do “everything” the other person does and it comes across as disingenuous. There was a funny video circulating years ago about how interviewees were mimicking the body language of interviewers and it was ridiculous to say the least.
With language it makes sense to use some pronunciation similarities because it can actually make it easier to understand. It must come across as genuine, however, to ensure it doesn’t come across as making fun of others.
Love this topic. So glad you include it here in your “leadership” blogathon.
Bravo,
Kate
Great insight Kate. Yes I can see how mimic could be misconstrued. If we truly value the person we are working with it will be authentic and not appear “mini-me-ish.”
Great post, Todd — embracing the power of differences is key to life, love and leadership success!
I love how you stated that Jane. We truly do have to embrace it and I think that many leaders do not understand how far they are from really embracing it open arms…
Are we really so different? My opinion that we are not! Why? because we all have two legs, one head, … one heart. We all struggle for peace, love be understood … Yes most studies show we are different and not that we are the same!
Why is this so? is it on purpose? Is it that someone is getting better “control” or whatsoever forcing us to think we are different? Your opinions count – tell me please!
I suppose if we made a list of the differences between two individuals, we could make an equally sized list of the similarities. We really do all have a lot in common, I guess embracing the similarities as well as the differences would be equally powerful.