Over the years I have belonged to various associations and groups. I been also been in many peer groups, hired consultants and coaches, used multitudes of products and vendors, and even worked for some crummy employers. The years of this have recently caused me much pondering. I keep wondering why a person would stay with certain employers, or industry associations, even vendors …to their own detriment?

I know of talented professionals that work for horrible organizations, yet they never leave ..they just suffer. I know individuals that are going in debt because they believe a certain industry association will “save” them. I also know employees that work at companies that suck the life out of them, yet they never leave.

I had to wonder, was this some sort of brainwashing? Not intentional (I hope), but psychology does play a part in sales tactics. As I dug deep and thought about past meetings, events, companies I have been with, and conversations with peers, I discovered a few things that consistently reappeared in the behaviors of these organizations. I do not profess to be a psychology expert, but I consulted with some professionals in that area, that have confirmed my thoughts.

1. Labeling – Labeling is very powerful technique. It can be used for good and can be used as manipulation. For example I have heard associations collecting money from their subscribers say, “we don’t allow whiners here,” or “we don’t accept lazy people.” They may even say, “This is not a get rich quick scheme, you will have to do a lot of work.” All these statements seem innocent, and may actually be true, but what they actually can do is create a false reality. The reality is that if you continue with this association that you must not be a whiner, you must not be lazy, and you are super smart, since you are not being fooled into buying a get rich quick scheme.

In doing some research on labeling I ran across this site, pertaining to religion, yet still applicable, “Labeling attempts to dehumanize persons so that dismissing them or their opinions is much easier. Choosing not to address someone individually who has doubted the toxic faith, the [individual] places a blanket negative label on all who would disagree…” Whether in an industry association or with a mediocre employer, be careful and watch for labeling techniques that put down “non-believers” and dehumanize your decision making abilities. When describing outsiders as “bad”, they may be tricking you into thinking that you are a “good performer,” therefore one continues drinking the kool-aid and writing a monthly check to that association; or punching in for work at that mediocre employer.

2. Exclusivity – “You are the best of the best.” “You are the top professionals in your industry.” “You are the cream of the crop.” I have heard business owners at association events and association leaders say these words. At one event I was at, I heard this coming from a business owner who’s gross revenue was under $500,000. There were about 250 other business owners in the audience that, for the most part, had businesses under $1 million. I did not see any of the CEO’s I am familiar with, that have $10 million, $40 million, $60 million, and $100 million companies in the exact same industry. So how could this group be the cream of the crop? Well because they are the ones writing a check and who drank the kool-aid for this association. They are self-validating and rationalizing their behavior because they do not want to accept that they may really be among a bunch of low-achievers and are wasting their money. Be careful of exclusivity creating a false reality that cannot be substantiated.

3. False Hope – “Our new goal is to be a $10 million organization in 3 years and no matter what, we will achieve it.” “I guarantee that you will triple your income in XX or you can have your money back.” Replace the goals or the amounts, edit the wording, and I am sure you have heard this at more than one employer, association, or even vendor. Another form of this, is seeing massive testimonials of inflated growth numbers. I was at an event that had these testimonials and as I looked at the pictures and names, I laughed because the majority were not even in the association any more, because they did not find value, and I knew they were struggling or were still a small company. I do like testimonials, I am a firm believer that you need them, but they should be current and relevant. Many testimonials or pep-talking managers, will use fanciful words and big promises to raise false hope, that is if you just stick around and work real hard, you will be a part of something special …and you will make lots of money. While it is possible to make a lot of money, especially with focused hard work, the road from where you are to that destination is never as easy as you think.

4. Ticklers – A tickler is something that provides just barely enough value, whether real or imagined, to keep you clocking in for work at that mediocre organization, or paying big sums of money to that industry association or vendor. Often that value add, is just a small thing to make you feel like you are now getting the value.  The truth was that with a little research and self-evaluation, the value really is probably not worth that much.

Most people need to fill that need – to belong to something. They worry that they are going to miss out on something. Don’t be a company that has to go in debt to pay money to a association providing false hope, at the detriment of your own company or its employees. Don’t sacrifice your personal success because the “CEO” of a long-time failing company suddenly has a vision, yet no way to achieve that vision.

Life is too short to waste. If you want to be a leader: practice personal leadership, set and achieve high goals, associate with successful people, execute religiously …and get to work. Leadership starts with you! Your success starts with you …and there are not many short-cuts in life.