Passion in a business setting is very individually experienced. Some call it drive or motivation that appears regularly to spur them on their way. While for others, passion is something that they do—a true calling or a “dream job”—where the content of their work is what keeps them going, not the daily activities. Regardless of how you define it, passion in your business can ebb and flow naturally, driven by changes in your personal life such as having a new baby or through external impacts like losing a big client. But when it’s missing, your life just isn’t the same without it.
With no real athleticism, I took my first pole dancing class three years ago during a time when my passion for my business and life in general was at an all time low. Pole dancing is a popular, alternative workout mixing cardiovascular dance movement and strength-based lifts, high in the air around a slim metal pole. (Shape Magazine named it one of the 15 hottest fitness trends)
I am a leader in my primary business, and serve as a leader for multiple non-profit organizations. Losing my “mojo” was not just bad for business—it was making me physically ill and emotionally depressed. A leader needs to always know where they are going, or at least be happy and positive trudging through the difficult jungles of economic uncertainty. I was neither happy nor positive and it was starting to show, affecting the morale of my team and our ability to provide true value to our customers. I had to do something to dramatically change my outlook. Pole dancing was completely out of my comfort zone but I was willing to try anything!
Roadblocks to Living a Passionate Life and Defining Success
The biggest roadblocks to living our business lives passionately everyday are expectations—paradigms we follow either provided to us by our upbringing or self-imposed from envious comparisons to our peers: “If everyone’s dream job is in finance, is that what I should do?” “My parents will only be proud of me if I get a ‘real job’ so I won’t become an artist.”
Pole dancing is salacious. Instant reactions almost immediately conjure up negative perceptions including the objectification of women or scandalous thoughts about nudity and sexuality. One of the first reactions to my new-found fitness hobby, was a hardy (and clearly nervous) laugh from a fellow board member who spent the remainder of our strategic planning meeting furtively glancing across the conference table at me in open shock, mentally trying to mesh the seemingly opposing concepts of “board president” and “pole dancer.”
Fear—of loss, of failure, of not living up to those paradigms and disappointing people whose opinions we value —can prevent us from living the life that is most fulfilling to us personally, our passionate life. Fear can lead us to shore up paradigms that we know don’t feel right, provide excuses for not breaking out of our comfort zone and mire us further in a downward spiral of negative thoughts and actions: “I can’t do this, I’m not good enough, I’ll never be happy.”
Not only am I not naturally athletic, I am also deathly afraid of heights. Of course an intense fitness activity that involved heights would propel me completely out of the “funk” I’d fallen into!
The first time I climbed to the very top of the pole I thought I would have a heart attack. I looked below, sweaty palms, white-knuckle-clenched to see the smiling faces of my fellow students and my supportive “pole mom” instructor cheering me on and I started to believe, for just a moment, that perhaps if I could conquer this, maybe I could conquer other my fears and worries about business and rediscover my passion. Maybe things weren’t really as bad as they seemed.
Since no one is born with a natural ability to shimmy up a slippery, chrome apparatus, the pole dance community is incredibly supportive of men and women of all shapes, sizes and abilities. Every small improvement, every tiny victory over previously insurmountable physical or emotional limitations are a cause for celebration. Each class, as I got a little stronger, a little more confident in my ability, slowly those feelings of empowerment started to translate to other parts of my life too and I began to walk, then run and now leap out of bed ready to face the challenges of the day. My passion was coming back!
It’s Up to You!
Today, even though market conditions haven’t gotten much rosier, my outlook has and my passion for providing excellent service wearing all my many professional “hats” has improved dramatically. I’m bothered less by the little things that used to easily derail my optimism and I’m not afraid of what others think about how I live my life and run my businesses. If I could swing my entire body upside down, I could do anything! Pole dancing may not be the panacea for all your business ails but try something totally different that engages you in a new way—you never know what you’ll discover. No one is ever too old, too young, too unfit, too uncoordinated or too any-excuse-you-can-muster to live a passionate life that is perfectly right for them.
The only one holding you back from living your passionate life is you. So what are you waiting for? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
About Colleen Jolly
When I read the title, I thought I’d landed on a wrong page 🙂 But your insights stopped me in my tracks and got me thinking. It is amazing where we can draw leadership lessons from. For me, our bathroom has given me a lot to chew on. We were just installing new tiles (should have taken a day) but ended up with fixing pipes, taps and washbasin. The whole process ended up taking a whole week!
That’s wonderful! I always aim to be a bit provocative and get people thinking. I believe that every situation (even those that are potentially frustrating like your bathroom!) can be a great learning experience.
Thank you! I’ve been thinking recently of the Maya Angelou quote “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be” — I’m so happy to hear how you’re inspiring your mentees to find their own kind of amazing!
One of my daughters took up pole dancing classes this year. I was a little worried at first about what that meant and what it projected. When she came home from her first session exhausted and in pain I was ok with it, and again the next week and the next. Great exercise. The old adage ‘a change is as good as a holiday’ is so true, and there is nothing like a holiday to reinvigorate you. We should all be looking for something to stretch ourselves, even if it is muscle by muscle. Great post.
“The only one holding you back from living your passionate life is you. So what are you waiting for?” – So true.
It’s great you are such a supportive dad, Peter =) Glad the post resonated!
Hi Colleen,
Thank you for your open and honest post about losing – and then regaining – your passion. The reminder to stretch yourself outside of your comfort zone and do something different and self-rewarding is such a good technique for re-centering one’s passions. I appreciate your prompt to think (and do) beyond to regain one’s “mojo”. Welcome words to me these days!
All the best,
Susan
Thank you Susan! Sometimes its scary to “drop our masks” and be a little vulnerable. I’m glad the post was welcome =)
Colleen — as a current board president for a local nonprofit and former belly dance exercise class aficionado, your story totally resonated with me! Kudos for sharing your story and letting people know that unconventional methods should be bravely and boldly embraced. Perhaps a broad retreat at the pole dancing venue is in order….!
Haha — yes Jane! Let’s take all our board members and do something physical and daring! Getting people out of their chairs and away from meetings or dinners is absolutely a good thing. Although, it might be a tough sell at first! =)
Collen,
Brilliant / Inspired / Terrific !!!!
The only one holding you back from living your passionate life is you.
&
But when passion is missing, your life just isn’t the same without it.
I know those feelings, yes I do.
But if I look from today’s perspective back when I started my passion – I’ll do it again. And the funniest thing is that the environment has accepted it (and me) doing it. And the most important thing is we all learn from our passion (whatever we do) and bring the best in what we do!
Thanks and cheers
Jaro.
I couldn’t agree more! It is not simply enough to “show up” in life — we must fully experience and share it!
Awesome Colleen! Our passion for leadership can sometimes be found in the most unsuspecting of places. My very best of leadership lessons have been found in the gym through my own transformation, and after entering my first figure competition at age 49, I walked away more inspired than ever to help others find their voice and rekindle that inner passionate spirit that we sometimes lose along the way. Tackling something greater than ourselves serves more to build passion than any one other activity. Thank you for sharing! Love the story of the board member across the table.
Congrats on the figure competition — that’s an amazing accomplishment! I completely agree that physical activity helps us (and helps us help others) in ways that we don’t at first expect. Keep being awesome =)
Hi Colleen,
You have captured and expressed something that not only reignites a leader’s commitment but also engages employees and awakens creativity and innovation …
“Try something totally different that engages you in a new way.”
This ‘change it up’ advice also can break through log jams and help people to connect in new ways.
Very uplifting post … if you’ll excuse the pole dancing pun 🙂
Regards and thanks,
Kate
Thanks Kate! I’m a firm believer in shaking things up — it’s just harder shaking ourselves up! (or down or up and down, as the case may be!)
One thing that enthralls me to a leader is honesty and that I saw in this post. One thing I tell my mentees is “don’t impress but. express. Be youniquely you and though people may misunderstand or ridicule you, tomorrow they will emulate you.”
Dear Collen, I will always remember this “A leader needs to always know where they are going, or at least be happy and positive trudging through the difficult jungles of economic uncertainty.”
Your passion is your passport to progress; make it right!
Thank you Collen Jolly, you are a diva and great shero. Remain blessed for blessing us with your wisdom.
Thank you! I’ve been thinking recently of the Maya Angelou quote “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be” — I’m so happy to hear how you’re inspiring your mentees to find their own kind of amazing!