Leadership & The Power of Curious

May 28, 2014 by

Curious-Curiosity-LeadershipYou never know where a conversation could lead you.  It can start out with a simple, “hello” and lead to a short chat that ends quickly, or could turn into hours of discussion; but only if you let listening and curiosity take over.

The power of curious is really about not setting an agenda; about not being so set on an end result that you avoid or overlook or completely ignore the interesting, engaging, and authentic people that are sitting right in front of you.  They might have so much to offer, if you simply listen with a curious ear.

Try this in your next one-on-one or relationship-building meeting:  Focus on asking good questions that lead from one to another through curiosity.  Remove the need to reach a conclusive objective.  I experimented with this exercise in a coffee-chat debrief with a client.  The purpose of the coffee-chat was to get feedback on a session I had just facilitated for his team.  (I am always interested in feedback as it helps me become a better coach and facilitator). After receiving the feedback, I asked a number of questions that while, relevant to the feedback, also helped me better understand his team, their processes, their work and their clients.  At the end of our time together (30 minutes led to 60 minutes), he was impressed by my interview skills and asked me to facilitate another session for his group.

I was amazed at the power that this type of conversation holds.  Not only did I allow myself to be open to what could happen, I also was able to create a safe environment that allowed my coffee-companion to be open as well. Less pressure, more honesty, more connection, leading to a better relationship – all thanks to curiosity.

Think about this as a leader – How can the power of being curious impact my team?

It can lead to:

  • Innovation
  • Confidence-building
  • Problem-solving
  • Elimination of personal agendas
  • Removal of silos
  • Better understanding of priorities and mission
  • Ability to visualize success
  • Opportunity to learn from mistakes in a judgment-free zone

As you approach your next relationship-building opportunities & meetings, try the following to prepare for the power of curious to kick in:

  • Allow the person you are meeting to set the agenda, if any at all
  • Put your phone, tablet and/or pen away, and be present with undivided attention
  • Ask for clarification and further details or examples as often as possible
  • Concentrate on what is being said, not what you will say next

The power of curious comes from listening, being truly present.  Your curiosity will model the way for others to be curious.  It allows creativity to brew and build, relationships to strengthen and grow, bridges between groups to build, and foster momentum that can change the future.

How do you practice curiosity in your leadership? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

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The Vulnerable Leader

March 12, 2013 by

Vulnerable-Leader-Lora-CrestanLeadership is not easy. In fact, if you are doing it right, it is downright difficult.  Learning to lead is an ongoing process that evolves with you.  Many skills and talents are molded together to create the leader you are today.  Your personality and the experience you have had either as a leader or with the leaders around you will definitely contribute to who you are as a leader.  We are clearly influenced by leaders and their actions, whether directly or in the media – a great leveler when it comes to viewing leaders as they truly are.

Think about this though.  Have you progressed in your leadership development so that you know it is okay to be vulnerable?

Vulnerable is defined in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as ‘being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally’.  As leaders, we need to accept that we are human – being vulnerable is part of that.

Being vulnerable is not:

–        A sign of weakness or indecision

–        Becoming a doormat and allowing others to walk all over you

–        Crying at the drop of a hat

–        Taking unnecessary risks that could harm you or your organization

–        Abdicating responsibility

Being vulnerable as a leader is:

–        Letting others know you need help and asking for it

–        Listening to feedback and incorporating it into your next steps or development plans

–        Understanding that not everyone will ‘like’ you and dealing with the emotions that comes with that acknowledgement

–        Being empathetic and compassionate with your team, your family, your clients and your vendors – consistently and authentically

–        Allowing yourself opportunities to reflect and review your past performance and behaviour and seeking guidance for change

In quite the opposite direction, a leader needs to be confident to show their vulnerable side- this includes self-awareness that shows the leader can be multi-faceted and certainly focused at the same time.  It may not be easy to reconcile this in your mind.  As a human being, many emotions collide and keeping them bottled up really is not a good idea.  Finding ways to express emotions like frustration, confusion, regret, happiness, joy and all the rest is an art developed by experience.  Take some time to think about the many ways in which you interact with clients and colleagues.

Do you focus on building relationships instead of making transactions?  This applies to both clients and team members.  With clients, it is clear – get to know them and build the relationship so that they trust you.  As soon as trust develops, the relationship is now a two-way street and no longer about a transaction but about making both parties better.  The same applies to relationships with your team – it is not about strictly giving direction (the transaction – they do what we say). Now you are venturing into tapping into who does what best, or who needs to stretch and grow in new directions because you have gotten to know them and understand who they are and the direction in which they would like to move.

Are you interested in listening and truly understanding as opposed to glossing over objections to close the sale?  If you truly listen, you are doing so with your whole body – and seeing as well as hearing what is being said.  If you are only trying to close the sale and get the dollars, they most certainly will not stick in the future as there has not been a true effort to build trust.  By taking time to listen, even though you may not get the sale today, you have been open and vulnerable to rejection and allow the other party to learn more about you.

As a leader, you are charged with guiding others to move forward through your example. Lora Crestan Tweet this!

This could be an individual or an entire company.  How you act will define how others act.  How you develop relationships will be reflected in how your team learns to, and then builds relationships.  Your ability and courage to show vulnerability will provide a more open environment in your organization, allowing for change, personal growth and stronger bonds to develop.

 How you act will define how others act”.

Are you a Vulnerable Leader? Describe to us how you became one.

 

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