On June 1st of 2012, I released a guest post on a personal branding site that went viral. I couldn’t believe how much it was shared on Twitter and other social networks in such a short amount of time. I was invited to start-off the first day this Personal Branding Blogathon, put on by Peter Sterlacci at http://www.PeterSterlacci.com. I think the reason the post went viral is because it touched upon the desire that we all have in life – TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. As we begin this journey of creating the Ultimate Annual Personal Success Plan, I want to share a portion of this post with you, because I think it will help you in determining how high you really want to go with your own goals. If you don’t know how high, it is hard to create a plan to get there.
The full text of this article is located here: http://petersterlacci.com/2012/06/01/screw-dents-im-aiming-immense-gaping-hole/
Screw “Dents”… I’m Aiming for an Immense Gaping Hole!
“I have many regrets about the life I’ve lived—coupled with equal failures to accompany those regrets. But the biggest failure—and the regret that leads them all—was the failure to grasp my full potential earlier in life.
“ I’ve always worked hard, but I haven’t always worked smart. I’ve sought success, but I didn’t always plan for that success. Since I failed to grasp all that I could become; I never defined what success looked like, nor focused my actions toward it.
“A handful of years ago I experienced a “renewal.” After selling a company I had founded, I began to realize that I needed something more. I desired more: wisdom, success, and meaning—in every area of my life. I consumed knowledge, and I worked even harder. I wrote my first book, started a very successful leadership blog, and extended myself into every opportunity that pushed me higher.
Success came slowly, but it wasn’t enough. Soon, I realized I needed to focus my energy. I could not find any guidance to help me do this in a way that was right for me, so I created The Ultimate Personal Success Plan. For two years, I have used that, updated it, and tweaked it to fit my aspirations.
“Then recently, I saw the title of an article that had something to do with making a dent in the world. I didn’t read the article, or see who the author was. But the concept stayed with me; the thought kept piercing my mind: “What kind of dent am I making?” I was struggling with the way my life was going. The success I was having was good, but it wasn’t enough—or maybe it just wasn’t …meaningful.
“As I pondered this one night, thinking about how a dent is the result of an impact (a hammer striking a wall, a heavy object dropping to the ground), and how the size of the impact determines the dimension and depth of the dent, the thought struck me:
“Screw ‘Dents’…I want to make an ‘Immense Gaping Hole.’”
“What’s the gaping hole that I want to create in the world? I am still working on that, but I want to make a difference in people’s lives, do something useful, create something meaningful …be somebody who makes other people’s lives better, and of course improve the quality of my life and that of my family.
“So I find myself again redefining my Ultimate Personal Success Plan, almost halfway through the year. In doing this, I recognized that my aspirations needed greater impact. I couldn’t settle for slow, small impacts.
“Now is the time to start ripping open a cavernous, gaping hole! Because simply making “a dent,”…just isn’t adequate.”
I share that message because I want you to do some hard thinking about what you want out of your life, and more importantly, what you want out of the next year of your life. This is a tough question that took me months to figure out. But exploring the path of determining who you are, and where you are going is amazingly fulfilling, and clarifying.
Pondering this question, can be both enlightening, yet at the same time stressful. The idea of what we want out of life (or the next year) or what we are capable of, are often limited by our own thinking. So as you explore this question for the next few days, it is important to bring others into your thought process.
I am not suggesting that you do not have a grand enough dream, but often what we want is highly influenced by what other people close to us want, and often other people have a greater vision and hope for us than we will ever have for ourselves.
When I created the last version of the Ultimate Success Plan, I knew that it would be a crummy plan if at the end of the year my wife was unhappy. I had to review my plan with her and make some adjustments. My vision of being a good husband is severely limited in my mind, but the vision (or hope 🙂 ) that my wife has for me – is greatly expanded.
You may have portions of your plan that have to do with lifestyle, health, career, spirituality and a bunch of other things. Balancing all this can be overwhelming if you do not take the time to talk with important stakeholders or “experts” about your goals in that area. Perhaps you need to speak with an “expert” for a health portion of your plan, which could be a personal trainer or nutritionist. For a professional growth area, it might be a coach or mentor. For a financial success area it might be a financial planner. A stakeholder in a relationship area might be the person you want to develop the relationship with, like your spouse, or a friend.
When setting your goals, set your sights high. I hope you realize what you are capable of, because all of us, including you – are always capable of more, and better. Set that vision high, and make sure to work with stakeholders and experts, because they may have a vision of you that is even higher than your own!
So your homework for the next few days is to to write down all your hopes and dreams for 2013. Aim high, but make them realistic. When you think you have them figured out, talk with key stakeholders to verify that you are not short-changing yourself. The elements of what you create will come together as we move farther along with the creation of your success plan.
Please leave comments or questions below if you need help. If you are willing, please share some of your dreams and aspirations as well. Don’t forget to subscribe to get notices of all the posts as soon as they are released.
About Todd Nielsen
Throughout my adult life, I’ve set out what I thought were big goals – graduate college, become a US Marine, become a CIO by age 30, create something new in this world (patentable), start my own company. While I’ve reached all of these goals, something still was missing. My wife backed all of these goals, but then I told her my frustration at still not feeling “successful”. She laughed, pointed at my heart, and asked me what did God tell me. I had asked Him. We went to church every week, I volunteered in numerous ways at church & in the community, but I hadn’t even thought about asking Him about my goals for success.
So when my wife & I started praying together for guidance for my goals towards success, I was a little stunned with the answer. As you noted, Todd, there are dents and then there are gaping holes. My success – our success (my wife’s & mine) – were staring at us every day, laughing & giggling with us at every evening’s family dinner together. Our triplets!
While that may seem cliche, further prayer & thought brought it into full clarity. Our external successes are nothing compared to the huge gaping hole in the world that we can create in building & leading our families, and most especially in our children.
My wife & I made an early commitment to send our kids to private Christian schools, and, for my wife to stay home to care for them. Following through on those goals required significant sacrifices for almost 20 years. But now, as adults in college, they are making phenomenal decisions & setting lifelong goals that will further impact our world for good. My wife’s & my goals ARE coming to fruition, and ripping gaping holes in the world!
So sometimes, our biggest goals & successes are measured very long term.
Now, to get back to that “little goal” of someday writing a book….
What a story Mark. Thank you so much for sharing.I believe that the family is the most important unit on earth and it sounds like you and your wife have done a great deed in creating an immense gaping whole in the lives of your children. Congratulations! Oh and good luck on the book. I know that can be painful. About to start #3.
Best,
Todd
Thanks for the inspiration, Todd! I’ve started a brand new blog in the last month, something I should have started three years ago, as part of my own “Renewal.” Similarly, I feel like I’ve underachieved in life to this point. Now it’s my goal to change that.
Jim Collins popularized the “big hairy audacious goal.” The parallel here is that reaching BHAGs requires not just imagining the goal, but creating a plan. These thoughts about creating such a plan are welcome and well timed!
Thanks again.
Hi Todd, good stuff! On the dent in the Universe theme, I recently came across the text of an old ad for Apple. It was based on a Marianne Williamson Poem that Steve Jobs apparently really liked. So do I!
A great friend and colleague of mine recently passed away in very difficult circumstances. I am attending his memorial celebration tomorrow and this is what I intend to say by way of tribute to him. I’ve added it here partly in his memory and partly because the only way I can make sense of his passing is to re-dedicate myself to making the kind of dent that you are talking about. Maybe it will inspire others too. Here’s the text:
For Phil
There is a poem by Marianne Williamson that contains the line “It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us”. The poem is a bit spiritual, depending on how you define the word “God’. But in that line and the few that follow there seems to me to be a truth that applies to many of us and certainly to Phil. As a personal tribute to him, however, I prefer to choose the text of an advert in the early days of Apple, since Steve Jobs was inspired by the same source. As an Apple guy who used to encourage me to join him until I finally (and thankfully) succumbed, it struck me as a particularly appropriate in tribute and as an extended toast to his life, work, talents and spirit.
Here’s to the crazy ones
The misfits. The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things.
They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire.
They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
We make tools for these kinds of people.
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
I hope you like it and maybe use it to continue to inspire others like you, Phil and the manay people who I hope will participate in this programme.
Go gently, David
Awesome Dave. I am sure that this came across well and was appreciated. It honestly is a description we all should strive to fill in our lives.
With Todd’s help, I set goals at the end of last year that I thought would really challenge me. They did, however, I am so pleased to report that I have achieved over 90% of my goals.
My question is: What percentage of one’s goals should they be able to achieve? I don’t believe it is 100% as without some failure, I don’t believe the goals were set high enough.
– Tim Foster
I always tell people when setting goals that they need to aim for the stars and perhaps they will hit the moon. Better to have set a high goal (the stars) and have reached part way (the moon) than to have never left the ground. We have to be realistic with our goals but still set ones that push us.
I am not sure anyone could set a percentage for proper achievement of goals. History is full of stories of individuals that set high goals; then struggled through blood, sweat, and tears and finally achieved it. I would not say that their goal was not high enough since they achieved it. Yet many people set easy goals and achieve them, and the achievement is absolutely not the same. It definitely is something very individual for each person. I encourage everyone to aim on the high side though.
Thanks for your thoughts Tim.
Best,
Todd Nielsen
Great way to bring the year to a close, with a plan! Thanks Todd for sharing this. I have great plans [as you know] and sometimes everything overwhelms me as I have not put them down on paper. They are all in my head, and this does not help me or my family as I am busy processing stuff even in my sleep. This holiday break, I aim to get structured, and I guess your help here will go a long way towards this… Keep at it!
Glad I can help, keep me informed of the progress!
Good Luck,
Todd Nielsen